Most people think I’m responsible for the twisted ideas behind these cards. And up to this year, they would have been right. But my sweet-as-pie, Catholic-as-the-Pope wife came up with this one. “Here’s what I’m thinking,” she said to me one night in late November. “The card has you and your friends all watching a stripper in our house. Then I come in unexpectedly early from an evening of Christmas shopping and surprise you all.” If the first words out of my mouth that very second weren’t, “Woman, I love you!” they should have been.

Once again, Wes came through on this one, providing the photography, the lighting and the stripper.

For some reason, the thing came together so fast that I wound up calling everyone at the last minute. Ordinarily, I couldn’t have gotten these guys to help me do anything more than, maybe, drain a bottle of whiskey. But when I explained what I needed help with (staring at a naked woman in my living room with my wife’s blessing) they all showed up without hesitation, no matter what they already had going on that night. Mike Lawrence (second row, showing titty of his own) for instance, had just had his wisdom teeth pulled that very day. He shows up, pain and all. Chris Weir (second row, blue sweater, white boa) was celebrating his birthday that day. He told his wife that birthday dinner plans had changed. Similarly, Jesse Leeds (front row, cigar in hand) had a babysitter that night and he and his wife were going to have the first quiet romantic dinner out together since the kids were born. “Sorry, baby, my man Ken needs me.” Jim Snyder (front row, red bow, dollar in mouth) even brought his wife along. As for Bill George (front row center…best seat in the house) and Tom Hawley (back row, hiding his boner), when I called each of them on the phone, I think they appeared at my front door before I even got the word “stripper” out of my mouth.

On a tragic note, take a look at where everyone is looking. All my boys (and even my wife) get to stare at the stripper’s bare chest. Who’s the only person in the room who doesn’t get to feast eyes on the boobs? Pity. I heard they were fantastic.

Favorite Captions:
+ Uh-oh!
+ D-I-V-O-R-C-E

No comments:

Post a Comment